I've never written anything in my life. I will never be a writer

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
ngkiscool
heller-castiel

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heller-castiel

my favorite thing about this post is all the people who chose to use the default icon defending themselves in the notes like no stop it just put a picture up

beatrice-otter

It does not have to be–and shouldn’t be! this is tumblr!–a picture of yourself. Or at least not an identifiable one. Pick your favorite ficitonal character, or animal, or work of art. Just pick something!

alexseanchai

[image: the two Supernatural frames where Castiel says “I love you” and Dean does not reply in kind, but with a default Tumblr icon saying “I love you” and Dean replying “u need to make a fucking profile”.]

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honestly a profile pic that’s only one color would be an improvement. like literally open up Paint, hit a color button at random and the Fill tool so every one of those 400x400 pixels is color hex code #f400a1 or whatever, save and upload, et voila. nobody has the power to dox you based on your 100% Hollywood cerise profile picture. but it tells us you’re a real live human being.

(it tells us that better than a picture of your real live human face would, actually, since the spambots do love stealing photos of people)

(it doesn’t tell us anything about your interests except that you like bright pink, or dark powder blue or kelly green or jet black or whatever you’re going with here, but that might be your point and is entirely beside mine)

gurinderstehara

^ my rebuttal 

alexseanchai

…okay, yeah, a profile pic composed of four different default Tumblr profile pics also serves to prove that you’re a real life human with a sense of humor

animate-mush

Jokes on you, I keep the default specifically SO people will block me

delgado-master

Yours is such an old default profile that it also proves you’re a real person, joke’s on you

Pinned Post
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bedrock-to-buildheight

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Once you care a little about lettering and fonts there’s no coming back

(Top to bottom fonts are: anime ace, back issues, minceraft regular, white rabbit, vcr osd mono, and determination snas

bedrock-to-buildheight

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Part 2 bc I realized I still have some more font stuff stored

bedrock-to-buildheight

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Okay okay I think I’m done now

Fonts are Edo and Segoe Print, respectively

mlembug

On MangaDex forums there is a thread named "Scanlation Font Resource"

It has a lot of fonts.

sludgecorpse
forgottenwarehouse

I now disagree with that post that went something like "to make high schoolers laugh post pandemic you have to kill someone" because when I was clocking out of work today I overheard my coworkers, two high school boys, joking around. One said "hey bro...literally me when im making pizza..." He was in fact making a pizza, that's our job. They both laughed like beavis and butthead and repeated it a few times.

mikkeneko
sandersstudies

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

sandersstudies

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

coldgoldlazarus

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darcyolsson

i could never be american because whenever I get a big drink I'm like oh great now I have to drink this big drink. i have to take care of this big drink they gave me. everything is terrible in the world

darcyolsson

too many upset americans in the notes of this post. why don't you come over and take care of that big ass drink for me then. why don't you carry it around for me. you must've built up a lot of muscle dragging those drinks around every day. why don't you help me drink it since you're oh so experienced at drinking big drinks. two straws. one cup. why don't you tenderly look into my eyes over the styrofoam rim. we could share a moment and a drink together, feel the intimacy of experiencing the same thing at the same time. at the end of the day my opinion on big drinks will have shifted. it's not the sugar on my lips that changed my mind. i love you but I'll never say. you mistake my fear for indifference and we break each other's hearts. I'm resentful towards big drinks again but it's for a far more complicated reason than just my being European. not that anyone would ever notice the difference. well, except for you, I suppose. funny to think that the only person who knows that about me is a complete stranger. who said that

grimeclown

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You should read the rest of the post

cipheramnesia

That post about writing motorcycle scenes I’ve been meaning to write

prettyarbitrary

Riding a bike is one of those things that’s a very physical experience, so if you haven’t ridden, then there’s a lot you will naturally not be aware of.  I love motorcycle scenes in stories, but over the years I’ve noticed that scenes written by non-riders almost always make the same mistakes.  They’re ubiquitous in fact, to the point that if you haven’t been there to learn the contrary yourself, it’s natural to assume that’s how it actually works.

The first thing to know about motorcycles is that when driving, the motorcycle performs as an extension of you.  It’s almost cybernetic, the way your mass and balance fuse with the machine’s, the way it transmutes your sense of your surroundings and the surface you’re driving on, and the sense of the bike itself and how it’s performing.

Most notably, the driver’s center of gravity becomes the central steering mechanism.  At speeds faster than around 10 mph, the driver steers primarily through shifting their center of balance.  If you want to turn left, you lean your body left.  You’re actually tilting yourself and the motorcycle to take curves and corners.

When carrying a passenger, then, the passenger needs to shift their center of gravity along with the driver’s.  It’s like taking the ‘follower’ position in partner dancing.  You lean WITH them; not less, because then your weight counters theirs and they end up not turning (which can be highly bad if, say, the road does not go that way), and not more, because then the bike could tip right over.

Being a good passenger on a bike is not a huge learning curve for most people, but there is a learning curve.  And some people have more of a knack for it than others.  Some people are natural back-seat drivers, for whatever reason overly pushy, eager, demanding, or determined that they know better than you, and have a habit of making it hard on the driver.  I’ve had people tell me they hate riding pillion even if they’re good at it, because they don’t like how out-of-control it feels.  I detest it myself, in fact; I’d far rather be driving, and it’s a constant struggle for me to just follow along and behave myself.

This means, though, that carrying a passenger who weighs significantly more than you can be a tricky business.  I weigh about 110, and when carrying a rider weighing significantly more than that, it’s awfully easy to crash if the passenger tries to back-seat steer.  (A way to mitigate this, especially for new passengers, is to simply take 15 minutes or so to bump around quiet local roads at low speeds so that the driver and passenger can familiarize themselves a bit with minimal risk to themselves.)

Now, undoubtedly the #1 most-committed mistake I see from almost everybody who writes about motorcycles (and for that matter, a lot of unsuspecting new passengers try it in real life) is the ‘wrapping arms around the driver’s waist’ business.  It’s so common that this line is practically required by law when somebody’s writing a motorcycle scene, but seriously:  DON’T DO THAT.  <–The all caps there is not for shaming; it’s for emphasizing the safety issues.  It’s not only uncomfortable for the driver, it’s potentially dangerous.  It makes it hard to steer, hard to breathe comfortably, and easy to get jerked off balance and into a crash.

In a similar vein, holding onto the driver via grabbing their clothing is ill-advised.  This can lead to getting jerked off balance, having seams dig in painfully, and being choked by fabric.

What to do instead:  The rider sitting pillion should brace their hands on either side of the driver’s waist.  

I know, if you’re in it for the sexual tension, this sounds less sexy, but I’m here to tell you that’s a filthy lie.  A passenger who’s sitting properly is basically molded onto the driver’s back.  Riding with/being a passenger on a bike is a startlingly intimate experience.  There’s a lot of trust and teamwork involved, which takes place at a kinesthetic level.  It feels a lot like dancing, as I said before, or maybe partnered sports, where the collaboration is happening at a physical, bone-deep level that often skips right past the conscious intellect.

Now, sometimes (you may’ve seen this on the road) you’ll have passengers who prefer to hang onto a part of the bike–bits of the frame, maybe, or a ‘sissy bar’/seat back sticking up from the back.  It’s not uncommon, but it’s a bad habit because the passenger is never quite as in-tune with the driver this way, and if something happens–a tire slips in a puddle, for example–their weight moving in the wrong direction can end up jerking the bike out of the driver’s control.

Another thing I see a lot of writers do in stories that doesn’t work in real life:  unfortunately, helmets are NOT easily swappable.  They’re designed to clasp the head; a well-fitted helmet should not move on your head at all, even if you shake your head hard (though it also shouldn’t be tight enough to exert uncomfortable pressure).  A helmet that fits loosely is useless at best and dangerous at worst.  One that’s too tight is either painful or doesn’t go on at all.  It doesn’t take much difference in the size of two people’s heads for one person’s helmet to not fit the other person properly.  (And even if they’re the same size, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll be comfortable for more than short-term wear, but hey.)

Also, the stupid things are ridiculously expensive–especially the full-face models–so most bikers aren’t lucky enough to have a bunch of extras just laying around.

Another tip, both for writing and riding: riding pillion on a sports bike (those sleek ones where the driver’s crouched and leaning forward like a race jockey) is a miserable freaking experience.  On a lot of models, you’re perched up there on something that barely counts as a seat and leaves you constantly feeling like you’re about to slide off the back; your legs are pushed up into a crouch; you’re hunched like a monkey over the driver; and possibly you’ve got a scalding-hot muffler pressed up against your calf.  

(Pro tip: if anybody ever invites you for a ride on their bike and you’re wearing shorts, pay attention to where the muffler’s located in relation to the foot pegs.)

Now, what is it about motorcycles that makes some of us bikers go into a lathered-up frenzy at the idea of riding?  It’s because it FEELS SO DAMN ALIVE.

Look.  It’s like…life these days is, well, canned.  We spend a lot of our time in pods–houses, cars, subway trains–breathing tinned air, walking around on pavement or carpet…  But when I’m on a bike, it’s me and a 360 degree panorama of the world, and there’s nothing between me and it.  Some people get off on the risk of that, but for me it’s a matter of immersion.  When I ride, I can feel the cool humid air rolling down from under a forested hillside.  I can smell the road dust, the oil, the exhaust, the herby scent of weeds and wildflowers on the roadside, the river I’m driving near, the shady scent of a forest, the roadside fruit stand…and I’m not talking in that wafty, broken-up way you get if you roll the car doors down.  It’s like driving into a wall of scent, crashing through one bubble after another of temperature changes and smells and sounds and sights, and I have this bike underneath me that’s rumbling and vibrating and moving like it’s part of me, and it’s just the most powerful sense I’ve ever had of being in charge of my own life and not hiding from the world.  I can see it, and it can see me, and yeah, that’s a bit dangerous, but it’s also real.

destinationtoast

Thank you! This is incredibly useful.